5 Commonly Asked Questions about Couple's Therapy

You aren’t sure how you got here, but here you are: at a crossroads in your relationship thinking about seeking out help from a couple’s therapist. You cannot help but wonder what it will be like and want to know before making the commitment to therapy. What can we expect? Will the therapist validate my concerns and help me express them to my partner so they can understand me? How will we set our goals as a couple?

Don’t worry, having questions is normal. Many people have no idea what to expect from therapy. Perhaps you know someone who has been in therapy, but don’t want to ask them about it. And Hollywood has shown therapy in many different lights, but like most Hollywood depictions, most of the time it is not an accurate picture. I encourage everyone to enter into therapy, of any kind, with questions and an open mind. When choosing a therapist make sure you feel comfortable around him or her so you have no hesitation in asking your questions. All therapists should also provide a safe and relaxed environment for you.

Here are the answers to 5 commonly asked questions about couple’s therapy.

1. What is the usual cost of couple’s therapy? This can vary from therapist to therapist. Fees range from $90-$150. Many therapists will work with you on a sliding scale basis, but always check to make sure they have a valid license. Some insurance companies will cover the cost, but many do not provide coverage for couple's therapy even when they cover individual therapy. Be sure to inquire with your insurance company if they cover couple's therapy, and if they do, check if there is a limit to the number of sessions they cover.

2. Is it better for the therapist to be male or female? This is a personal preference. All therapists should remain neutral despite their gender, but some couples may prefer a certain gender.

3. How long will we need to attend therapy? Again, this depends on the couple and several other factors. What issues are being brought to the table? Are both parties equally motivated to working on the issues? Some couples may require a small amount of sessions (6-10) while others may need more than this. Usually if a couple is upfront about the issues that need to be addressed with the therapist then a timeline can be established within the first few sessions, but this timeline should always remain flexible based on the couple’s needs.

4. How does couple’s therapy work? Being a therapist, I have been approached by people who tell me therapy doesn’t work. Interestingly enough, when someone says that to me and I ask if they have been to therapy usually their response is no. What a therapist provides is an unbiased, unemotional, third party point of view. A couple’s therapist is going to observe communication, ask some tough questions and help the couple set goals to move forward in a healthy, loving relationship. While working on these goals the therapist will work on teaching the couple problem solving skills as well as effective communication techniques.

5. How are our goals set? My therapeautic point of view is that the couple sets the goals. As a therapist I may help narrow down goals if they are too broad or provide input if there is a disagreement between the couple on the goals, but bottom line, it is not up to me as a therapist to decide what your relationship needs – you do. I may be the professional but you are the expert on your relationship and you know best what your needs are. I cannot stress enough how important each individual’s input is on the setting of goals, as they can make or break the future of the relationship.


I hope this information was helpful to you. Please feel free to email me with additional questions or if you are interested in starting therapy and live in the Fresno/Clovis area.