In today's society we seem to need to be multiple places at one time. I often feel I need to clone myself just to meet every one's needs between my husband, kids, students, clients, friends/family and oh wait, there is one more person who often gets neglected - me!
I know just from my social circle that I am not alone in this feeling. It is common though to feel you are being selfish though to take some time to yourself. Learning to set good limits and boundaries for ourselves is not easy, but necessary.
Here are some tips to get you started with some self care:
1. Learn to say that magical word - "NO." Do you struggle to tell the PTA at your child's school you just cannot bake a hundred cupcakes by tomorrow for fear of letting them down? Do you agree to optional overtime at work to make your boss happy every time he/she asks? It is okay to say no sometimes in order to relieve some stress. The world will keep turning and you will feel better by setting some boundaries for yourself.
2. Evaluate your time management. All of us have wasted time that gets away from us. Often times this wasted times quickly adds up and becomes quite a time sucker. If you don't already have a calendar get one! Either a day planner or a family calendar you can hang up to have all your family appointments in one place. This way you can combine errands and appointments when possible and minimize the stress by planning your week out. Also, be sure to schedule some down time. Mark off Friday night as "me" time or family time and stick to it just as you would any other appointment.
3. Take care of your body. Don't sacrifice your own health for others. Diet, exercise, and regular check ups are very important in self care. If you are functioning well you are no good to anyone so put some time into your mental and physical health.
4. Don't be too proud to ask for help! Look at those around you and see who can help out to minimize your stress. Make a chore chart for your kids to help around the house and learn responsibility. Talk with some neighborhood mom's about starting a carpool to relieve the day to day driving responsibilities. It won't take away all your responsibilities but it can start providing you with a few breaks.
5. Set up a reward system for yourself. When you do take on a big task and complete it, give yourself a little reward. It can be a new book, an extra long run on the weekend, a massage, a new outfit....the possibilities are endless. If you feel your efforts are recognized (even if only by yourself!) it will help you feel more appreciated and accomplished.
As always if you feel that the stress in your life is at a point where it is unmanageable please reach out to a professional. If you live in the Fresno/Clovis area feel free to contact me at (559) 289-0258 or email at csoareslcsw@gmail.com.
