Thursday, April 1, 2010

Our Inner Self

So often I have client's tell me that they feel lost, they just don't know who they are anymore. At times even when I ask them what their interests or hobbies are they can't conjure up an answer for me. They have lost touch with their inner self.

I frequently see this in new mothers. The overwhelming task of motherhood can cause you to have tunnel vision - you are so focused on this new little one that you start to put yourself on the back burner. For a period of time this is acceptable and normal. As mothers we make sacrifices for our children. But as time goes on it is so important that we start to regain our sense of self and put ourselves first sometimes. If not, after a while we only know how to define ourselves as a mother or wife or whatever title we hold at work - we don't know how to define ourselves as individuals.

A great example of someone in my life who is very much attuned into her sense of self is a neighbor of mine who is a stay at home mother of 3 children. As if that wasn't enough of a challenge, she also home school's 2 of her 3 children. Her husband is in the medical field and works nights, so he is often working or sleeping in preparation for work, so my neighbor has many roles and is a dedicated wife and mother. However, she has found a very healthy outlet and has some time for her self. She is currently training for the 'Iron Man' event which is an incredibly challenging physical event. She dedicates a lot of time to training for this event and is working towards a very personal and individual goal for herself.

Now I am not suggesting that you all go out and sign up for an 'Iron Man' or even a marathon, but find something that you can enjoy and feel accomplished with. Get back into sports or start baking again. Think about who you were at one point and where you want to go as an individual. Perhaps you used to enjoy crafts and that no longer holds any interest to you, that is okay. Look into a new activity and give it a try. If you don't love it you can try something else, the quest in finding your inner self is not always easy, but is always rewarding in the end.

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If you live in the Fresno/Clovis area and are interested in scheduling a therapy session with me, please email me at csoareslcsw@gmail.com. You can also view my website at www.alliancebehavioralhealth.com