How to stay cool during back to school

When my son was born almost 6 years ago the transition into motherhood was a big one, but I handled it well by having a great support group and asking plenty of other mom's for advice. Then last year I transitioned again - into motherhood of a school age child. I am happy to say I survived my son's kindergarten year (with a few tears from both him and I of course) and now we are gearing up for first grade.

The first day of school will quickly be upon us and it can create stressful feelings in both parents and kids. I always feel it is better to be proactive rather than reactive, so here on some ideas on easing the transition back into school:

1. Take the mystery out of the first day of school. If your child is attending a new school make sure they are familiar with the school. Take them on campus, show them their classroom, bathroom locations, administration offices and where drop off/pick up is. This can help ease any anxiety your child may have about how they will navigate their new surroundings. Many school's also have a 'meet and greet' with the teachers a week before school. I encourage you to attend these with your children so you can both meet their teacher and see their classroom.

2. Stock up on supplies! With all the budget cuts in the schools it has left classroom supplies very limited. Be sure your child is stocked up on supplies appropriate to their grade level. This can also build some excitement in your children as they prepare their backpacks with fresh paper, binders, crayons and pencils. Also be sure you have a meal plan prepared. If your child will eat a hot lunch be sure they have money on their school account or stock your fridge with some of their favorite lunch items for cold lunch. Disney Family Fun offers some fun and fresh ideas for your kid's lunches and snacks.

3. Start the school routine early. Summer vacation can throw kid's schedules off in a big way. As a parent I am often guilty of letting my kids stay up later during the summer time, causing my kids to go to bed later and have a hard time waking up in the mornings. One or two weeks before school starts begin to implement their school week schedule. Have your kids go to bed and wake up during their school hours so the first week of school isn't a shock to their system.

4. Keep the learning experience strong, year around. Summer learning loss occurs when kids do not engage in educational experiences throughout the summer. A recent segment on the Today show stated that kids can lose approximately 2.6 months of their grade level during the summer months. This can cause kids to feel very frustrated when school starts again and make homework a battle. With fun summer activities it can be hard to coax your kids into traditional learning activities, so make them fun! Many video games or phone's now have educational apps or programs kids can benefit from. You can also engage them in outdoor learning activities so kids don't have to choose between the outdoors or brushing up on their skills.

5. Keep an open dialogue going with your kids and the school. As the school year begins talk to your kids about what they like about school and what they dislike. It is normal that your child isn't going to love everything about school. Build on the good points to keep your child motivated. If there are ongoing concerns be sure to communicate with your child's teacher to see if education services such as tutoring or an IEP is needed. Parents and teachers both want their kids to succeed so work together, not against each other.

So take a deep breath and put on a smile. Transitions can be bumpy but with the proper tools and right attitude, you and your child can make the transition back into school as smooth as possible and set the stage for a great school year.

Learning to love your body, inside and out

Summer is upon us which means that as the temperature increases, our hem lines start to shorten and more skin starts showing. I remember seeing the old 'Cathy' comic strip and the anxiety she felt around swim suit season. The comic strip gives us a good laugh, as many of us identify with her, but for some with body image disorders this time of year can evoke serious feelings of depression and anxiety.

According to the National Eating Disorders Association, the average American woman is 5 feet, 4 inches tall and weighs 140 pounds. The average American model is 5 feet, 11 inches tall and weighs 117 pounds. While most of us know that models have strict (and often very unhealthy) diets, the images of their waif like bodies bombard us on commercials, billboards and magazine covers on a daily basis.

Many of us work hard to maintain a healthy grasp on our weight by diet and exercise, and may wonder when diet and exercise can turn into an eating disorder. The National Eating Disorder Association states that "eating disorders such as anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating disorder include extreme emotions, attitudes, and behaviors surrounding weight and food issues and in the United States over 10 million females and 1 million males struggle with eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia." Examples of extreme attitudes and behaviors can include (but are not limited to): severe calorie restriction (under 1500 a day), compulsive exercising, purposefully avoiding food when hungry and vomiting after eating.

Young females are especially susceptible to eating disorders, so parents should keep an open dialogue with their children surrounding their attitudes on weight and food issues. Emphasizing healthy eating and exercise is recommended over calorie counting and diet fads. Making healthy eating and exercising a family activity also helps children not feel singled out in dealing with any weight issues they may be struggling with.

There are numerous resources available to help you evaluate whether or not you need to make life style changes surrounding diet or exercise. Utilize these resources or consult with a professional in this field, such as a physician, dietitian or a personal trainer. However, if you feel emotionally overwhelmed about your weight and have concerns that you have reached an unhealthy level of obsession surrounding your diet and exercise, please consult a mental health professional.

Learning to love all your body can do can be a life long struggle, and it begins with working on your self esteem and loving yourself. Work with your body, not against it!

Infertility support group

After working in the adoption field for several years, women and couples struggling with infertility have a special place in my heart. There are so many wonderful couples out there who would make amazing parents and yet they struggle to bring a child into their loving home.

Last week on the Today show they did a 2 day segment on infertility (you can view the segment here). The segment shared that the findings of a 2000 Harvard Medical School study, which showed that participation in an infertility support group can actually increase a woman’s chances of conceiving in a given menstrual cycle over 50 percent, jumping from 20 to 54 percent. Dr. Linda Applegarth, Director of Psychological Services at the Center for Reproductive Medicine, explained that not only are support groups important for women to find common ground with others and a safe space to share their feelings, but they can also be a wealth of knowledge regarding appropriate information about where to go for good infertility treatment.

With these promising results I have decided to start a support group here in the California Central Valley for women struggling with infertility. The group will meet on Tuesday evenings starting in April. For information on this group please email me at csoareslcsw@gmail.com. Also visit my website group's website here.

How to overcome the wintertime blues

For those of us in California, Mother Nature gave us a little sneak peek at springtime last week. The sun was shining, flowers in bloom and I started seeing everyone out on bikes and skates. Then today the rain came with nothing in the forecast but rain for the next several days. I started to hear everyone complain of the gray skies and how they were hoping it was the end of their 'wintertime blues.'

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) starts usually as the days get shorter and the sunlight disappears due to all those winter storms. It is estimated that millions of Americans suffer from SAD due to this loss of sunlight and often dread the winter months. The American Psychiatric Association reminds us that SAD symptoms are often similar to depression. Symptoms can include: fatigue, weight gain, sadness, irritability, social withdrawal, craving foods high in carbohydrates and lack of interest in normal activities. Individuals suffering from SAD may not experience every symptom, and severity of symptoms can vary.

In the past 20 years researchers have uncovered some effective treatments to help SAD. One of the most effective treatments is finding exactly what caused SAD to begin with - sunlight! Of course it is difficult to find natural sunlight so alternatives must be discovered. Sun boxes or special florescent lighting help stimulate the brain and can reduce symptoms.

When the wet, gloomy weather comes we tend to hole up in our homes and feel our options for activities are limited, causing feelings of boredom and sadness. The winter months are a great time to take up a new indoor hobby, remodel something inside or take a trip to a different climate. Having something to look forward to on a rainy day can keep you positive and full of energy.

Psychotherapy is also useful to help with SAD. With psychotherapy new coping skills could be learned to help with depressive symptoms. In severe cases antidepressants may be needed, but this would be something to speak with your physician about after other alternatives are tried.

If you are suffering from SAD or any other mental health illness and live in the California Central Valley please contact me for mental health assistance.

Alliance Behavioral Health

I am excited to announce that the website for my group's practice has launched. Please visit our site to learn more about what we have to offer and for more information about therapy services.

To visit the site please click here.

Chronic Illness - by guest author Krista Peterson

I'm always happy to be contacted by a reader who wants to be a guest author on my blog. The topic of chronic illness is especially close to my heart since I have had several close family members affected by cancer, including my father who lost his battle in 2003. I know almost everyone has been directly or indirectly affected by a chronic illness. Supporting loved ones affected by such illnesses can prove difficult.

My guest author is Krista Peterson who recently graduated the University of Central Florida and is an aspiring writer. She is also a Health and Safety Advocate for the mental health community and is passionate about writing for the cause. Thank you Krista for being such an advocate in this field, we need more people like you! Please enjoy her contribution below:

Counseling can improve home situations for many families and individuals, especially for those who are struggling with the effects of a chronic illness like cancer. When a cancer patient is diagnosed, especially if that patient is a parent, the stresses and worries of everyday life do not pause. Instead, patients must juggle being a spouse, friend, parent, employee, pet owner or whatever other relationship and occupational roles they may play.

If you have been diagnosed with cancer, it may benefit you to join a support group or see an individual counselor. When choosing a counselor, be sure to weigh the negatives and positives of that choice. For example, if you seek the help of a trusted friend or minister, or even your therapist, you have the opportunity to speak openly and comfortably with someone you already know and trust. On the other hand, let’s say that you are struggling with the news of a colon cancer or mesothelioma diagnosis. You may want to speak with a cancer professional who can understand the particular needs and concerns that you have as a new cancer patient. It’s important to find a counselor that can help you with your most pressing, individual needs.

As a cancer patient, if you have children, consider the options that psychoeducational counseling offers. Programs like COPE use Creativity, Optimism, Planning, and Expert Information to work with children and teenagers who are struggling with the fact that they or their parent or loved one has a potentially fatal illness. Cope sessions focus on short-term, cancer related problems, making it easier for children to anticipate end results.

If you’re considering individual cancer counseling, you also may want to research counseling options for the rest of your family. Family counseling can help each member of your family not only to understand and express what they are experiencing as individuals, but to understand and express what’s happening as a familial unit. Family is the closest and most powerful support group that there is, and children and partners can feel just as lonely, depressed, stressed, and fearful as the cancer patients themselves. Building up a strong, untied family around a cancer patient assures a positive home environment and allows that patient to focus on healing and recovery.

Thank you again Krista for your contribution. If you are struggling with a chronic illness in the California Central Valley, please contact me for more information at csoareslcsw@gmail.com

Healthy Communication Article

I am very excited to announce that I was recently interviewed by a journalist with Associated Content and she published an article with my responses on a How To Communicate With Others article.

Please click here to read the article!

Thank you Jaleh for the opportunity!